I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
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So much rum. So many feels.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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