this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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