I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize