I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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