I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His hands were made for my vagina.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
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I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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