He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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