Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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