I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize