i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
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you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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