Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

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  (908): im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs http://tfl.nu/kfrc
  Replies (19) Good night (981) Bad night (2161) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.

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  (352): He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies. http://tfl.nu/ks6d
  Replies (8) Good night (571) Bad night (3010)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

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  (816): Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0tqt
  Replies (11) Good night (542) Bad night (2904) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

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  (810): Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of. http://tfl.nu/uwfl
  Replies (14) Good night (3822) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

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  (979): I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed http://tfl.nu/k1m0
  Replies (19) Good night (4593) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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  (701): I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers. http://tfl.nu/q78w
  Replies (9) Good night (3378) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?

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  (717): Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag. (610): was it embarrassing when you had to say yes? http://tfl.nu/rz29
  Replies (10) Good night (1449) Bad night (6161)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like

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  (781): I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like http://tfl.nu/tc65
  Replies (6) Good night (3231) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious

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  (714): I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious http://tfl.nu/8hxf
  Replies (22) Good night (6922) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.

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  (616): No flamethrowers. That is a direct order. http://tfl.nu/o0tj
  Replies (7) Good night (3163) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?

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  (704): What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present? http://tfl.nu/yubn
  Replies (26) Good night (4087) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes

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  (248): whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes http://tfl.nu/s924
  Replies (10) Good night (3357) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  French fry pizza

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Are you brilliant or just really high?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can't it be both?

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  (330): French fry pizza (502): Are you brilliant or just really high? (330): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/8jk8
  Replies (8) Good night (3234) Bad night (605)
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  (916): View more from California

  WHY did you say no to the sex seance?

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  (916): WHY did you say no to the sex seance? http://tfl.nu/czv9
  Replies (4) Good night (575) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.

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  (562): Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding. http://tfl.nu/vxim
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt

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