omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize