I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I CAN MOONWALK!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize