Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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