Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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