Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
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I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
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My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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