i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
two words: eviction party
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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