Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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