yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize