my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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