Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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