There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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