Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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