is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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