can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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