Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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