why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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