I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize