Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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