I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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