she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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