If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My vagina just clenched in fear
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize