I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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