you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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