I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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