I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
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Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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