I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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