on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
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I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dicks are not precious.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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