if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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