he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
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WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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