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My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
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