Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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