Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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