Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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