it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
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I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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