tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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