I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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