You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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