I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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