Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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