Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize